DrMark's Latest Charity-Subsidized Vacation

He went glacier climbing in Washington. The last pic is one of the guides that he fell in love with. Only his affection abated after she "dropped trou" a mere 30 yards away and pinched a love-testing loaf right before his very eyes.

Gotta love those crunchy broads.

Maggie and Ryan's Mongrels

Feeling left out on all the baby/pregnancy news, Maggie and Ryan wanted the spotlight on their babies at least for the moment.

I can't believe the gumption of those yuppies trying to upstage Joe and Kelly's wedding, a successful MoMerk fertilization and the birth of little John's sister.

Personalized dog biscuits....unbelievable.

Inez adds,

"If that's what they are going to do with their dogs, what'll they do with their kids!?!?!?!?!?"

Update

We still don't have a name for our soon to be birthed daughter.

DrMark recommended "Baby Girl", a name actually used at his former hospital.

For those unaware, Anne had a problem in her intestinal tract. She had surgery and is fine except for her inability to eat much yet. So she was missed at the West Boylston Memorial Day cookout.

See everyone next week.

Who Picked Maureen in the Baby Pool?

So nobody won the FFW Pool (Fertile Family Women).

On one hand I am suprised because I saw Mo chug a beer when we visited around Easter. Then again, maybe she didn't know at the time or I was simply fooled.

On the other hand, I am not surprised. They have that big beautiful house and need to fill up the bedrooms - otherwise the inlaws may try to move in.

She is due December 28th.

Mo writes:

I figured I would keep up my streak of announcing a pregnancy before a family wedding, as there is no way in hell that I would be able to hide it during Joe and Kelly's wedding. I'm feeling pretty good, and the boys are excited for a "Christmas baby," as they call it.

Lucky for the Joey and Kelly, Mo won't be sloshed at their wedding - as she was at Maggie and Ryan's.

Mo, it looks like that gate works, huh? (private joke)

Congrats.

Woody's Woody

(Where is his other hand?)

TimL, er Woody, writes:

This wasn't my typical business trip--I stayed in a five star Intercontinental Hotel with an amazing view of the Bosphorus and Marmara Sea. I also had a chance to do some sightseeing with a colleague before all the work started, including the Blue Mosque, Hagia Sophia and the Grand Bazaar. On one of my last nights in Istanbul we all went out to huge restaurant frequented by foreign tourists. Our MC spoke about a dozen languages and we were treated to all sorts of traditional music and dancing, and there was much interaction with the audience. Among the hundreds of people in the restaurant one "lucky" person was singled out by a belly dancer for special attention...including hands run through his well-coiffed hair.

Any Name Suggestions?

This baby girl is really kicking. Inez is scheduled for a c-section on June 14th. She is planning on making Joe and Kelly's wedding (and John will be down as well - with a sitter).

We are open to any name suggestions as we're really stumped. The only name we like is Anna (but can't even find a middle name to go with that).

Any help or jests would be appreciated.

Kelly's Shower

Helena sent me an email titled "beautiful women enjoying a shower" with four attached pictures.

If it came from someone else, I would have suspected intentional adult content humor but from humorless Helena, it must have been accidental.

Sunday Dinner at Anne's

One of the night's highlights was seeing Vanda turn into a "green-eyed monster" (Julie's apt diction) upon the mention of one of Tom's old flames - some voluptuous minx named Helen.

Who brought up this subject?

Of course UJ, the potstirrer incarnate.

Vanda retold a story of how Helen, years back, seeing Tom a bit on the non-thin side, commented to Vanda (or was she Wanda then?),

"...you must be a good cook."

For some inexplicable reason Vanda took serious umbrage at that remark. She wasn't offended by someone calling her faithful husband "chunky". She was miffed by the compliment to her cooking.



DrMark celebrated his fortieth birthday. Instead of complaining about the urban clientele of his old ER, now he whines incessantly about Brookline aristocrats who demand plastic surgery for two stitch lacerations.

Can you believe he recently screamed at one such woman,

"Plastic surgery!!!! You are nuts. You are 74 years old and your peers are all blind."



Hey TimL. Notice the unregulated parmesan cheese?



And the host-provided beer?




Thanks Anne and Wayne. That was some good spaghetti and meatballs. Even my hard-to-please Italian wife was impressed.

Easter at Tom and Vanda's

Another example of the superior gene pool. Does Maureen ever take an awful picture?

Katie and Garrett's New Puppy

Note this is their second dog.

When are the kids coming?

DrMark Running the Marathon

Can y'all believe he is outpacing those fat women? Are they even running?



Congrats on finishing the race (15,000th place?). I would have gone to cheer you on but I am against almost every aspect of it: Boston, running, and charity.

Happy Easter/Passover

We took Little John to Philly this weekend. We stayed at Maureen and Tom's gorgeous new house on Wednesday.

Things we learned:

1) Colin and Brendan have a sh*tload of toys - probably why they needed a bigger house.

2) Maureen has a special relationship with their warranty guy.

3) The boys can sleep through John's screaming (I wish we could)



We met up with Katie and Garrett in Philly and had a blast.

Things we learned:

1) Katie is not pregnant.

2) They got a new puppy. (Perhaps they'll send a pic)

3) Garrett is trying to open his own car wash.

Did y'all get that email from DrMark?

I can't believe he wanted donations for his charity run in today's marathon. If he needs money I suggest he skips one of his monthly European vacations.

Lastly, did y'all see those fancy wedding invites from Joe and Kelly?

I'll bet that Joe helped pick them out. Right down to the font style and whatnot.

Jenn

Jenn recently went to a great Chinese restaurant but it is kind of hard to get to.

The Other Side of the DC Trip

Here's the promised follow-up to UJ Goes to Washington DC

According to UJ....

TimL only provided 2 beers for him to drink. And UJ had to ASK for the second one.

Tim would not let his father have second helpings of pasta at his place. Tim put the leftovers in two neat little bowls and set them aside for his lunch during the week. Instead he offered him a "small salad".

Without question Tim can be insufferable, but having to spend a weekend at his place sober AND hungry? That is rough.

So after a mere 30+ years of selfless parenting, braces, family vacations, mortgages for his education and whatnot UJ is still on a BYOB and BWOF standing at his son's place.

Dad, you might want to remove Tim as your medical power of attorney. (Just a thought).

But fear not, this weekend did see some progress.

During the last visit to Tim's place, UJ was not allowed to self-serve the parmesan cheese. Tim violently insisted on regulating the cheese. But this weekend, Tim broke down and left the cheese on the table for unbridled personal distribution.

Hopefully here is Mel

AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

Wayne and I took a long weekend to visit David and Sheila. We saw an awesome game between the Heat and Ohio Cav's, the Heat came back from a 15 point deficit and won. Wayne enjoyed the car that David is working on. Sheila has many strays thet she cares for and one that comes in the house but never, never is allowed on the bed. I mentioned breakfast with Lizzie, here is a picture of Mel grandparenting.

Send me pictures and I'll post them.

JOE & KELLY'S WEDDING on JUNE 10th

The invites will not be out for a few weeks so here is some helpful info. The wedding is at St. Margaret's Church at 1pm, in Madison, Ct. The reception at Pine Orchard Yatch and Country Club in Branford, Ct. at 4pm.

I did a quick check of the prices at the three hotels, these are approx. Holiday Inn Express, about 105.00 Stoney Creek Inn & Suites, 95.00 and Motel 6, 62.00.

The reception is for adults. This cheap adult will probably be staying at Motel 6. The above photo was taken a few weeks ago when we got together, very last minute, with Lizzie and the perfect baby, Julie, Mel, Helena & me.

UJ Goes to Washington DC

Dan,

Dad really didn't give us much blog material this weekend. Maybe it was the dress code--you know what they say about dress codes and the behavior of school children.

Sunday we drove to Mt. Vernon along the George Washington Parkway in the Jeep with the top down...there was zero backseat driving--maybe Mom & Dad were too terrified to speak.

Day 2 - Dad on espresso
I bought some small cherry turnovers for coffee...The turnovers were rather small and I think this was what Dad was talking about when he called them "demitasses" which are something espresso is served in...

Day 2 - Dad speaking his own language
Dad, "Tim give your Mom some 'Vateur'..." "Dad, what the heck does that word mean," I asked. "I don't know Tim, I just made it up," Dad replied.

Day 3 - Dad emerges from the shower
Dad parades around the apartment in his briefs..."Dad, get in the bedroom put on something less revealing, preferably a burkha." I said.



(notice the different, hypocritical standards of dress.)



Tim, at least UJ took a shower!!!

Hundreds of people have already asked how Tim reconciles an open top car with his $65 dollar haircut and fastidious daily primping.

DrMark's New Woman

Her name is Amy. She is very old (45) and eats a ton of salad.

As Simon Cowell would say, having said that, she is 5 notches better than that miserable broad Brenda.

If this lasts, look to see her initiated into the family by dancing with UJ at the wedding.

Speaking of UJ, why would anyone (like TimL) think he needs his wardrobe regulated?

Below are some pics of him at Maggie and Ryan's.





UJ was getting a facial,chemical peel, or some sort of metrosexual indulgence.

Why was UJ getting this? Well, one of his favorite expressions is When in Rome...

Remember that Ryan is a candidate for chief family metrosexual. He did go with the women to get his nails done for Kevin's wedding.

Anne's Addendum

Anne wanted this pic added and wrote,

"This is my baby and below is his babe."

I am not sure what that means.

Anyway, of all the heroic manly things that Steve does, Anne wanted to capture him in this emasculating state of dishwashing enthrallment.



Update on the stiff TimL.

Supposedly TimL bought a new car, allegedly a Jeep. Though he won't send a pic to verify it, perhaps it is a lavender Subaru.

Incidentally, DrTom drives a Subaru as well to show his support for lesbian rights.

Tim's parents are going to visit him this weekend. Tim actually has imposed wardrobe regulation on UJ for the trip. Seriously, he has given Helena instructions on what his father can wear down there (e.g ."no shorts").

Anyway, there is likely to be some blog material produced by this visit and I will be sure to get "both sides" of the antics.

Speaking of the UJ and the Mean Sister, they recently got rid of call waiting on their home phone. They are absolutely going backwards, soon they be moving into a cave.

Can you imagine how they can't use the phone when they are expecting an important phone call?

That is so 1980, like Vanda's trash can.

MY PERFECT GRANDCHILDREN

Now that all the "Aunties", as Tim calls us, are "Grammies" my three sisters are getting to be a little out of line with how beautiful their babies are. I did it first and here is the evidence I did it best. I don't have a current picture of Trish but here are the crew from Pennsylvania. They are now 13, 11 and 9. They have two "puppies". I took these pictures during a visit a few weeks back, we were helping to make a chlorine atom out of playdough and the dogs went to obedience class.











DanL adds,

Let's hope that obedience class doesn't result in the dogs getting run over like Vanda's graduate dogs.

Mark Jr Update

LizL writes:

Well these days junior tips the scale at 20lbs and as you can see from the pictures he is really starting to thin out, ha. Mark is a happy little guy. He smiles and laughs a lot and he squeals when he is excited. He has zero interest in rolling over or crawling, but he sits and stands very well, I guess he is trying to skip a few steps, we'll see. With all the toys he has he is most interested in paper towel rolls and plastic bowls, go figure! :)

Side notes.

DrMark begged for posting priveleges on the Family Blog, they were duly bestowed on him but he is yet to so much as post a picture. C'mon DrMark, at least send a pic of you skiing down Brokeback Mountain or something.

Also CathyF, computer illiterate that she is, has mentioned to the webmaster that she would like to reserve some names. She insists that she is without child but this is a tell-tale sign that she may be next.

Out of the pool of FFWs (Fertile Family Women) everyone should place their bets as to who will be next after InezL.

FFW Pool

CathyF
MaggieS
LizL
Maureen
KatieW
Louise
Sarah
Vanda

I bet on Vanda.

Anyway, CathyF and DanF's reserved names are.

Boy - Percy, Buck, Ned, Seven.

Girl - Hilda, Mildred, Shamiqua, Soda.

UJ Golf Lesson by Counterexample

This video should work. if the play button doesn't start it, then drag the marker to the right.

The cameraman was trying to offer some chipping pointers to UJ, but the hacker was very resistant, claiming that he "knew how to chip."

Cameraman's response: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHIP.....YOU SHOOT 105.

Now play this video to see a real golfer.

test

this video should work. if the play button doesn't start it, then drag the marker to the right.

Has Anyone Seen DrMark?

Can y'all believe that DrMark wouldn't go down and help his sister move into the new house?

Isn't there some unwritten rule on compulsory family move help (except in the case of back problems)?

Go ahead DrMark. Keep wandering aimlessly around Brokeback Mountain.