CHRISTINE MEETS HER GREAT-GRANDPARENTS

A Doggie Dog World

Louise and Jeff happily announce that they are with dog and have bought a house. Since they only sent pics of the dog, one can only infer the more personally significant event.

So whose dog is cuter? Louise and Jeff's? Katie and Garrett's? Maggie and Ryan's half-breeds (other link)? Or perhaps DrMark's gerbil?



Now listen up you Deranged Dog People. Though roundly accused of being "gay with my cat", you don't see me disseminating pics of him on the World Wide Web, now do you? (though I had to buy an external hard drive just to keep them all)

Henceforth, I am instituting a "don't ask, don't tell, won't blog about" policy towards perverse pet-owner relationships. I tried mockery but it obviously backfired.

Happy B-Day Jeff!!!

Mexico?

So while every 'can is trying to come into our country, Maggie and Ryan are looking to buy a place in Mexico. So long as family has first dibs, I am all for it. Only I would prefer that they buy a condo in Miami - out of personal convenience.

Ostensibly, the vacation was for Ryan's birthday and as you can see, the whole family made the trip.

By the way, Maggie hasn't disavowed any rumors from prior posts.

Even More!!!

Yes that is the pic of Ryan urinating in Margarita's mailbox.

Ryan probably could have been arrested for indecent exposure but never would have been convicted for obvious "lack of evidence".

I have added three pages to the wedding pics - courtesy of Helena. Click here to start on page 9

The pics didn't really shrink down too well. If someone could tell me how to do it for the future that would be good. Also, I think some of you need to lower the resolution on your cameras. 3 megapixel shots are just intractable, as far as emailing, uploading, and downloading.

If you haven't already, check out Joe's photographer's site. They have a fantastic video up on it. Click here.

Now below find a couple of shots TimL took from a plane over the Pashmir mountians in some terrorist-sponsoring country.

Wedding Facts

• First of all, I think I speak for everyone in saying that the entire weekend was a blast.
  
• Wayne showed his virility by inhaling an artichoke pizza. Next perhaps he'll be trying out metrosexual TimL's bio-organic maple face cream.
  
• Ryan went from the most underdressed at the ceremony (jeans) to the most overdressed with the $2,000 Gucci suit he wore to the reception. However, one of his nameless aunts-in-law remarked that he donned the same $10 haircut throughout.
  
• DrMark dispelled the rumor that he was dating a senorita from Worcester - the demographic we all thought he was trying to get away from. He copped to dating a Bolivian chica whose life was in turmoil because ascendant socialists were nationalizing her family's airline business. DrMark elaborated, proudly declaring that he broke up with her on principle. He agreed with the Communists and thought they should give up ownership of the business "for the good of the state".
  
• SteveK greeted a soon-to-be navy officer at the reception with, "yeah, you are the one dating that chick with the massive teats, right?". Okay, he didn't say exactly that, but he may as well have. And they say that DanL is the most inappropriate cousin...
  
• Did y'all meet Rambo Furlani? Others will have to catalog exactly what he did at the bar. I have been told that he stole a nacho or two right off some guy's plate but otherwise was a belligerent all night.
  
• Speaking of physical confrontations, most of you missed Ryan getting thrown a good 15 feet at the bar by some young broad. I was right there but unfortunately didn't hear exactly what smooth line Ryan unleashed before the madame put two hands on him and sent him flying like a wet noodle. It was eerily a Seinfeldian moment (think Elaine).
  
• One complaint about the otherwise perfect wedding. How about when you first got in the yacht club, that long line of people trying to get in? It happens at every wedding. Old people spend an eternity trying to find their seat assignments. Note to fossils - first try to ascertain your last name, next phonetically impute the first letter, then go from there.
  
• Sarah's boyfriend Peetah must be on low carb organics or something. He's so skinny I expect to see him soon in Subway commercials.
  
• I am still waiting for a pic of MarkJr in his tux.
  
• Hey if Inez can make this wedding 3 days before birth, MoMerk should have to go home for Christmas/Kwanza, December 28th due date or not. When I confronted her with my suggestion, she retorted, "I deliver very fast". Well, I reminded her, we have plenty of medically certified people in the family. DrMark or DrTom could deliver her child. This inexplicably induced nausea in the lass. Mo don't be such a prude.
  
• Also this weekend we learned of DrMark's "sleep apnea". Apparently he brings a sleeping mask with him everywhere and two sets of ear plugs - one for him (so his own snoring doesn't wake himself up) and one for whomever he is sleeping with that night. In this weekend's case, it was for roommate TimL. I'll bet ten pesos that they smelled like Bolivian airline peanuts.
  
• KathyK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

• KathyK proclaimed that she "won the contest". Though not quite remembering the actual details of said contest, I'll concede her the victory. This chick in blue just loved our entire family. As incontrovertible proof of that I'll offer the fact that she gave DrMark her number.
• By the way, Ryan did actually pee in Margarita's mailbox in full view of dozens of patrons - many of whom congratulated him later in the bar. There is a picture floating around that needs to be promptly sent to me.
• KathyK also insists on being listed in the next Fertile Family Women pool (link link), to which I most certainly will oblige. The pool will be reset shortly after Maggie officially announces that she is with child. I must say that she almost pulled the wool over everyone's eyes - nursing drinks all night. The dead giveaway for me was the realization that she wasn't acting as flagrantly stupid as she normally does at a wedding.
• TimL was wondering if someone could email him directions to Margarita's. And he also has some burning fetish for a Greek diner to which he needs directions as well.
• Though a good-sporting, resilient convalescent, I simply have to mention that Anne broke LizL's kitchen faucet. Not only am I ratting out my most devout co-blogger, I also took the handicapped room at the hotel.
• I want to thank LizL and MarkL for a wonderful brunch.

Okay, the photos are still coming in but click here to see what I have so far. Thanks to all who contributed pics or content via their own manifest inanity.

I didn't shrink the pics down so it may take a while for them to load.

DrMark's Latest Charity-Subsidized Vacation

He went glacier climbing in Washington. The last pic is one of the guides that he fell in love with. Only his affection abated after she "dropped trou" a mere 30 yards away and pinched a love-testing loaf right before his very eyes.

Gotta love those crunchy broads.

Maggie and Ryan's Mongrels

Feeling left out on all the baby/pregnancy news, Maggie and Ryan wanted the spotlight on their babies at least for the moment.

I can't believe the gumption of those yuppies trying to upstage Joe and Kelly's wedding, a successful MoMerk fertilization and the birth of little John's sister.

Personalized dog biscuits....unbelievable.

Inez adds,

"If that's what they are going to do with their dogs, what'll they do with their kids!?!?!?!?!?"

Update

We still don't have a name for our soon to be birthed daughter.

DrMark recommended "Baby Girl", a name actually used at his former hospital.

For those unaware, Anne had a problem in her intestinal tract. She had surgery and is fine except for her inability to eat much yet. So she was missed at the West Boylston Memorial Day cookout.

See everyone next week.

Who Picked Maureen in the Baby Pool?

So nobody won the FFW Pool (Fertile Family Women).

On one hand I am suprised because I saw Mo chug a beer when we visited around Easter. Then again, maybe she didn't know at the time or I was simply fooled.

On the other hand, I am not surprised. They have that big beautiful house and need to fill up the bedrooms - otherwise the inlaws may try to move in.

She is due December 28th.

Mo writes:

I figured I would keep up my streak of announcing a pregnancy before a family wedding, as there is no way in hell that I would be able to hide it during Joe and Kelly's wedding. I'm feeling pretty good, and the boys are excited for a "Christmas baby," as they call it.

Lucky for the Joey and Kelly, Mo won't be sloshed at their wedding - as she was at Maggie and Ryan's.

Mo, it looks like that gate works, huh? (private joke)

Congrats.

Woody's Woody

(Where is his other hand?)

TimL, er Woody, writes:

This wasn't my typical business trip--I stayed in a five star Intercontinental Hotel with an amazing view of the Bosphorus and Marmara Sea. I also had a chance to do some sightseeing with a colleague before all the work started, including the Blue Mosque, Hagia Sophia and the Grand Bazaar. On one of my last nights in Istanbul we all went out to huge restaurant frequented by foreign tourists. Our MC spoke about a dozen languages and we were treated to all sorts of traditional music and dancing, and there was much interaction with the audience. Among the hundreds of people in the restaurant one "lucky" person was singled out by a belly dancer for special attention...including hands run through his well-coiffed hair.

Any Name Suggestions?

This baby girl is really kicking. Inez is scheduled for a c-section on June 14th. She is planning on making Joe and Kelly's wedding (and John will be down as well - with a sitter).

We are open to any name suggestions as we're really stumped. The only name we like is Anna (but can't even find a middle name to go with that).

Any help or jests would be appreciated.

Kelly's Shower

Helena sent me an email titled "beautiful women enjoying a shower" with four attached pictures.

If it came from someone else, I would have suspected intentional adult content humor but from humorless Helena, it must have been accidental.

Sunday Dinner at Anne's

One of the night's highlights was seeing Vanda turn into a "green-eyed monster" (Julie's apt diction) upon the mention of one of Tom's old flames - some voluptuous minx named Helen.

Who brought up this subject?

Of course UJ, the potstirrer incarnate.

Vanda retold a story of how Helen, years back, seeing Tom a bit on the non-thin side, commented to Vanda (or was she Wanda then?),

"...you must be a good cook."

For some inexplicable reason Vanda took serious umbrage at that remark. She wasn't offended by someone calling her faithful husband "chunky". She was miffed by the compliment to her cooking.



DrMark celebrated his fortieth birthday. Instead of complaining about the urban clientele of his old ER, now he whines incessantly about Brookline aristocrats who demand plastic surgery for two stitch lacerations.

Can you believe he recently screamed at one such woman,

"Plastic surgery!!!! You are nuts. You are 74 years old and your peers are all blind."



Hey TimL. Notice the unregulated parmesan cheese?



And the host-provided beer?




Thanks Anne and Wayne. That was some good spaghetti and meatballs. Even my hard-to-please Italian wife was impressed.

Easter at Tom and Vanda's

Another example of the superior gene pool. Does Maureen ever take an awful picture?

Katie and Garrett's New Puppy

Note this is their second dog.

When are the kids coming?

DrMark Running the Marathon

Can y'all believe he is outpacing those fat women? Are they even running?



Congrats on finishing the race (15,000th place?). I would have gone to cheer you on but I am against almost every aspect of it: Boston, running, and charity.

Happy Easter/Passover

We took Little John to Philly this weekend. We stayed at Maureen and Tom's gorgeous new house on Wednesday.

Things we learned:

1) Colin and Brendan have a sh*tload of toys - probably why they needed a bigger house.

2) Maureen has a special relationship with their warranty guy.

3) The boys can sleep through John's screaming (I wish we could)



We met up with Katie and Garrett in Philly and had a blast.

Things we learned:

1) Katie is not pregnant.

2) They got a new puppy. (Perhaps they'll send a pic)

3) Garrett is trying to open his own car wash.

Did y'all get that email from DrMark?

I can't believe he wanted donations for his charity run in today's marathon. If he needs money I suggest he skips one of his monthly European vacations.

Lastly, did y'all see those fancy wedding invites from Joe and Kelly?

I'll bet that Joe helped pick them out. Right down to the font style and whatnot.

Jenn

Jenn recently went to a great Chinese restaurant but it is kind of hard to get to.

The Other Side of the DC Trip

Here's the promised follow-up to UJ Goes to Washington DC

According to UJ....

TimL only provided 2 beers for him to drink. And UJ had to ASK for the second one.

Tim would not let his father have second helpings of pasta at his place. Tim put the leftovers in two neat little bowls and set them aside for his lunch during the week. Instead he offered him a "small salad".

Without question Tim can be insufferable, but having to spend a weekend at his place sober AND hungry? That is rough.

So after a mere 30+ years of selfless parenting, braces, family vacations, mortgages for his education and whatnot UJ is still on a BYOB and BWOF standing at his son's place.

Dad, you might want to remove Tim as your medical power of attorney. (Just a thought).

But fear not, this weekend did see some progress.

During the last visit to Tim's place, UJ was not allowed to self-serve the parmesan cheese. Tim violently insisted on regulating the cheese. But this weekend, Tim broke down and left the cheese on the table for unbridled personal distribution.

Hopefully here is Mel

AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

Wayne and I took a long weekend to visit David and Sheila. We saw an awesome game between the Heat and Ohio Cav's, the Heat came back from a 15 point deficit and won. Wayne enjoyed the car that David is working on. Sheila has many strays thet she cares for and one that comes in the house but never, never is allowed on the bed. I mentioned breakfast with Lizzie, here is a picture of Mel grandparenting.

Send me pictures and I'll post them.