American Idol?

First it was Chris Dautry...





And now Blake Lewis...





Meanwhile, UJ has a shirt in his closet that reads "American Idle". [seriously]

Beware of Hoarding

Junk Filled House Condemned by Town

Should anyone in our family be worried?



Above is a YouTube clip highly recommended by DrTom.

We should all just be happy that the otherwise complete Luddite is online and progressive enough to have been on YouTube. But I will say, that instead of emailing a link to me, he scribbled "senor wences" on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

Baby steps...

Family Dinner at Anne and Wayne's

Another wonderful dinner by Anne and Wayne!!!

Though last night's guests numbered above the average, the hosts didn't miss a beat. Turkey, mashed potatoes, veggies, fresh bread and wine - both bottled and boxed (for Vanda).

As usual, most of the blog content was provided by DrMark.

First, he was going to bring along his new girlfriend Lara but luckily one of his life coaches (KevinM) advised him against the foolish idea.

DrMark also announced he was condo shopping because he finds it tough to impress the ladies while being 35 years old and still having roommates. This of course means real estate has still got a long long way to fall.

As for DrMark's "burgeoning" personal obesity epidemic, he insists the blame is all on his "bad genes" and not the 11 hours a day that he sleeps. Really, he's just a few inches short for his weight; in his defense, he has slimmed down noticeably.



At Christmas I had to turn my camera to "panorama" to capture his full corpulence. But yesterday, from only 50 feet away, I could fit him in a vertical shot. Also, he seemed to be waddling with a lower amplitude - another positive sign.

Now as for the newest member of the extended family, Devin, the subject of godparents came up. Apparently DrMark was miffed that he was turned down or "passed over" for consideration AGAIN. Devin will actually share godparents with Brendan because of DrMark's heathenism. I guess worshipping trees and hybrid cars isn't enough to get a letter from a priest saying one is a "Catholic in good-standing".

The good doctor waxed curious about the whole godparent criteria, "I thought it was just a position of social-standing..." Perhaps he has watched one too many Mafia movies?

It turns out, that DrMark already is a godparent to a child of one of his high school classmates. But the funny thing is, he doesn't even remember the poor child's name!!! (this is no joke)

Lastly, due to space limits on the world wide web, DrMark also announced that he played golf in Hawaii and SHOT A 119.

Also I have finally received these fetal pics from KatieWA,



Thumb-sucking above and smooshed face below.



KatieWA writes,

Due Date is June 5th, And dont hold your breath for the pic of the fat belly.

I heard she was up to a size 2 already - but that is unconfirmed.

One other item, Grandpa bowled his age the other day, 93. Way to go Grandpa!!!

For reference, remember that TimL bowled a 20 in December.

Now, some unnamed killjoy suggested that everybody (me?) stop picking on DrMark.

My retort,

It's okay because he has VERY THICK SKIN.

Another Family Fetus

Congrats to Maggie and Ryan!!!

This is a high tech "4D sonogram". How is "4D" possible? I thought that was just a bra size...

Even at this early stage they can determine the gender from a "lack of evidence" - I think.

The baby girl is due August 1st.

All the best.

Big Props to DrMark

So far it's the funniest event of the year!!!

When the card came (postmarked January 4th) I thought it had to be a record in holiday card tardiness. But the warm and funny greeting atoned in a big way. Would "Merry Christmas" have offended somebody?

I don't know about everyone else, but after his best man speech, I had thought that DrMark may have donated his funny bone to one of those ridiculous charities or something. Lest I forget, his joke on UJ backfired at that wedding as well.

Anyway, it must be refreshing for him not being the victim for a change.

By the way, that pic was already on the World Wide Web, link. I need to mention that because I heard that MoMerk was upset over the card.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Get him back Kev and Mo!

Gametime Sunday

Merry Christmas, 2006

I don't have a pic of Julie, but her delicious lasagne will have to serve as a proxy - or at least what's left of it.



Mel decided to wear some of it.





Big news from Maggie and Ryan....

They have been invited to a local meeting of Scientologists. An honor Ryan likened to joining the Skull and Bones Society.

Soon they will be drug free, as the creed dictates...



I am telling you....this family is obsessed with feces.


It's a wonder UJ is not as corpulent as DrMark, the serial dater.























Remember last August when we all had the privelege of first meeting Sarah's beau Peetah?

While we barbequed it up at my crib, Peetah was lost, circling the city of Boston multiple times trying to find the party. Sarah spent the whole night on her cell phone trying to rein in the nomad, lost in his hometown desert.

So we all knew that he was "directionally challenged", but how the heck did he get lost this past Saturday. We were sitting at Vinny T's waiting to order and the young couple was nowhere to be found. Well, they got lost again. Most of us just walked the fifty yards from the bowling alley to the restaurant. But the cute couple drove, and drove, and drove. They went down route 9 all the way to the mall and back. I have included a satellite map below to properly punctuate this folly.



In fact the map exaggerates the distance by 100% - these buildings are adjacent for crying out loud. Please click on it to enlarge, and laugh to your heart's content.

Even without the blog, this event would live on, unforgettably for years.

It was only superceded by TimL's bowling performance.



He bowled a World Record low of 20 in his first string.

11 of his first 12 rolls found the gutter. He carded 6 goose eggs in his first string. A blind, broken-armed, retarded paraplegic could have beaten TimL.

DrMark came predictably late, and showed TimL up.

He only rolled his first 5 into the gutter.